Re-Discover Joy: Breathing Under Water

My wife recently pulled off a great birthday surprise for me. It is a small black portable record player, along with two albums– “Who’s Next”, and “Abbey Road”. I have never mentioned wanting a record player or albums to her since I sold my entire LP collection over forty years ago in order to make our rent.

Yet here I was, alone in our family room, as excited as a teenager, hooking up the compact record player to my large stereo speakers and placing “Who’s Next” on the turntable. I sat back on the floor against the sofa, just like I did when I was seventeen, carefully centering myself  between the two speakers five feet in front of me and waited for the needle to fall onto the vinyl. Then, there it was—a sound I forgot how much I missed—that first “hiss” as the needle makes contact with the vinyl, and then those unforgettable first repeating notes from Pete Townsends electronic organ in “Baba O’Reilly”. On key, this was followed by the booming bass line of John Entwistle, the frantic pounding of drum skins by Keith Moon, and the whole- throated cry/singing of Roger Daltry. It was On!

For those next five minutes I was transported into a state of being I had long forgotten. “What am I feeling right now?” I asked myself. The answer came to me. It was Joy. All that was in my consciousness was that this moment was a gift, life is good, and that I don’t need anything. Physically I was loose, mentally I felt light, my facial muscles were relaxed. My heart rate quickened slightly, and I felt a heightened awareness in the room—hearing every single note from every instrument – the drums, the base, the electric guitar, Roger Daltrey’s Vocals. In this simple private moment, there was a sense of peace and the rightness of all things—all from playing a song on a record player. And, I might add all of this without drugs or alcohol!

So, what really is Joy, and where does it come from? Somehow I feel this may be the most important question in life. From my own experience, it is a spiritual commodity that seems to be always there, but I am rarely open to it— too busy looking at things that are happening or things I need to do, or regrets for things I haven’t done. In short, I don’t see it because I am busy looking at myself.

Joy is not related to happiness or pleasure. I can go out and get for myself transient pleasures. I know far too well that a bowl of ice cream and Ted Lasso can make me happy. But none of that creates that deep joy in my life.  It only comes as a pure gift, and only when I am open to it.

Thomas Merton describes true spirituality as living in the “Hidden Ground of Love”. This he says is the source of a joyful life. It is like being able to breathe under water- like a fish, able to swim in this “environment of love”, to breathe in and out this love. Like a fish, one who learns to live in this place of immersion in love remains undisturbed and unaffected by the turbulence on the surface—the waves, the clouds, the unceasing noise. The activity on the surface of things does not disturb the fish swimming in the deeps—nor the person who has learned to stay aware that they are made by God for love and live in love.

Another way to describe what leads us to this state of joy is the Prayer of the 16^th Century Spanish Mystic  St. Theresa of Avila:

Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
All things are passing away:
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things
Whoever has God lacks nothing;
God alone suffices.

 I have recently been made aware of a habit I have of labeling every day, even every moment, as either “Bad” or “Good”. I decide if this or that is good or bad based on if I like it or want it to happen. But I am probably not the best at deciding when something in the long view is good or bad. This does not lead to a state of joy.

To illustrate this, here is an old Tao story:  A farmer and his son had a beloved stallion who helped the family earn a living. One day, the horse ran away and their neighbors exclaimed, “Your horse ran away, what terrible luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not. We’ll see.”

A few days later, the horse returned home, leading a few wild mares back to the farm as well. The neighbors shouted out, “Your horse has returned, and brought several horses home with him. What great luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not. We’ll see.”

Later that week, the farmer’s son was trying to break one of the mares and she threw him to the ground, breaking his leg. The villagers cried, “Your son broke his leg, what terrible luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not. We’ll see.”

A few weeks later, soldiers from the national army marched through town, recruiting all the able-bodied boys for the army. They did not take the farmer’s son, still recovering from his injury. Friends shouted, “Your boy is spared, what tremendous luck!” To which the farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not. We’ll see.”

The moral of this story, is, of course, that no event, in and of itself, can truly be judged as good or bad, lucky or unlucky, fortunate or unfortunate, but that only time will tell the whole story. It could be a waste of time and emotional energy to label minor inconveniences as misfortunes or to invest tons of energy into things that look outstanding on the surface but may not pay off in the end.

After two long years of living under the cloud of a viral pandemic, it seems that with few exceptions, the character of joy has been driven out of our daily lives. After two years of face covers, I have become skilled at reading a person by their eyes. I rarely find the sparkle of joy in those eyes.  I see the lack of joy in the eyes of parents, in the eyes of young teens and adults, in friends and co-workers. While God does not ever leave us, my awareness of his love and care fades away when I focus on what is happening to “me” or what is going on around “me”. How about you? Do you see joy around you? Are you finding joy for yourself?

I believe there are three great “thieves” of our ability to regularly experience this spiritual state of a joy.

The first thief of our joy is rampant today—Discouragement. I see this today especially in teens and young adults, but we are all vulnerable to bouts of discouragement—discouraged that our life is not going the way we would like or had planned. The result is we tend to set our focus on ourselves rather than the long view perspective—the necessary ingredient to receiving joy.

The second is also widespread today— Fear and anxiety. I am afraid of what might happen or might not happen. I am afraid I will get something I don’t want ( a virus?) or not get something I do.

The third is relational: Broken relationships and unforgiveness rob us of any chance of lasting joy. If I harbor resentments or anger towards anyone, I cannot be open to the gift of joy waiting for me.

There is a way to re-enter and re-experience that life of joy—of swimming in the middle of God’s world—the world of love. It is a plea, or prayer—the prayer of King David when he had a significant moral failing and cried out to his God “Give back to me the joy of your presence”.

Another female mystic from the 14th century, Julian of Norwich,  famously said “All is well, all is well, and every manner of thing is well”. This attitude will not be found looking out at the world at what is going on, but by diving down into the waters where the hidden love waits for all of us.

So today, I will remind myself of four things:

1.Not to be discouraged : All is Well

2.Not to be afraid: You are in God’s hands

3.To forgive others and ask forgiveness when necessary: For we are all connected to each other

4.Above all, ask my God to give me back the joy of his presence in that “Hidden Ground of Love” whenever I have spent too much time on the surface of things.

Now, if you will excuse me, my new record player is calling me to more joy. Abbey Road, here I come!

Kind Regards,

Bob