Where Have all the Leaders Gone?

I am completely disheartened at the state of leadership today—at the world, national, state, and local levels. I can’t even read the news without consciously steeling my soul, nor watch it without holding fast to my chair.

It’s not just a matter of whether I agree with a person’s world view—whether someone is an ultra-conservative, a progressive liberal, or somewhere in between.. And its not  whether they operate in the political, business, not-for profits, or the religious sectors.

It is a vacancy of world-wide leadership at almost every level.

Where have all the leaders gone?

In the last ten years I have watched statesmen and stateswomen degenerate into politicians, and business leaders into bosses. City councils, not-for -profit boards and even neighborhood associations are becoming nothing more than platforms from which those that sit on them build their resume’s.

As a result, the world is suffering from an inertia towards civility and betterment. Intolerance, bias, and a general  regression into a type of modern day feudalism mark our society. Division  has replaced collaboration, and mean spiritedness civility and good will. There is a loss of a sense of what is the common good that I have not seen in my lifetime.

It is now past time to demand something of our leaders, (and of ourselves, for we are all leaders in one way or another). It is time to reclaim what has been lost—The art of Servant Leadership.

The classic model of Servant leadership turns the power pyramid upside down; instead of the people working to serve the leader, the leader exists to serve the people. The difference is in the care taken by the servant-leader to make sure that other people’s fundamental needs are being served.

In Robert K. Greenleaf’s essay, “The Servant as Leader, he says “The test is: Do those being served grow as persons? Do they, become healthier, wiser, freer, more autonomous, more likely themselves to become servants?Will they benefit or at least not be further deprived?”

And I would add, what is the effect on the common good? On the marginalized and least privileged in society?

This is not a new concept. But I am afraid it is a forgotten one.

In the middle of a ruthless, tyrannical government, and a heavily Patriarchal and top-down religious milieu, Jesus of Nazareth transformed the idea of what leadership is, who it is for, how leaders are made, and how they should function in the world.

“whoever wishes to be great among you must be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you must be your servant; just as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many.” MA 20:20-28

Others would follow Jesus example with astounding impact: Mahatma Gandhi, Dorothy Day, Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela, Pope John Paul II, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, St. Theresa of Calcutta, St. Francis of Assisi, Dalia Lama, Bill Wilson, and on and on.

While these are well known examples, the world is even more impacted by the hundreds of millions of local and neighborhood servant-leaders—leaders you and I grew up with; our parents, grand-parents, teachers, relatives, coaches, and others that gave generously of themselves for your benefit.

I didn’t know the politics of the leaders and influencers of my youth. I don’t know if they were democrats or republicans, or whether they were Christian, Muslim, Jew, or ‘Non’.  None of them were rich or powerful. Some were old (or so it seemed), some were clergy, some were businessmen, and some were blue-collar workers.

What I do remember from my leaders is how they made me feel about myself, and how they helped me believe in the good I am capable of, even during my failures, my fears, and my confusion. I remember how generous they were, and yet, how strong they seemed.

We desperately need this type of leader today. We need lots of them, everywhere. What does it take to be this kind of leader? A leader who knows their sole purpose is to change society through helping others be who they are meant to be. Where can we find them? How can we become one of them ourselves?

I recently came across a quote by Joan Halifax in Brene Browns recent best seller “Braving the Wilderness”.

“All too often our so-called strength comes from fear, not love; instead of having a strong back, many of us have a defended front that shields a weak spine. In other words, we walk around brittle and defensive, trying to conceal our lack of confidence. If we strengthen our backs and develop a spine that is flexible but sturdy, then we can risk having a front that is soft and open. How can we give and accept care with a strong-back, soft-front of compassion, moving past fear or personal ambition into a place of genuine tenderness and love for the other? It comes when we can become transparent seeing the world clearly and letting the world see into us.”

This four-word phrase, SOFT FRONT/STRONG BACK,  perfectly describes the concept of true servant leadership.

When I am tempted to approach daily life with an armored front, it is invariably because I don’t feel safe. What provides the grace to go through life with this “Soft Front/Strong Back”? It begins with the realization and ongoing awareness that both you and I are loved and cared for  moment to moment by God. In that awareness there is no fear, no defensiveness, and a very loose hold on our own strangely gotten opinions and agenda’s.

Approaching each situation with that SOFT HEART/STRONG BACK is something I am making a conscious decision to practice. When I walk into a business meeting, or when I am conducting a facility audit, or leading a group discussion, or mentoring someone, or just being part of a deeper conversation with friends and family… I check myself with this: Am I presenting a ‘Soft Front” while keeping my back “Strong”?

First, let me tell you what I believe a soft front is. Think of the classical virtue of “Humility”, considered the queen of all virtues.

What a “Soft Front” looks like

It begins with how we approach a given situation. It is our Face and our heart. It is what we lead with. We enter each encounter with one intention– to be of help. Here are some basic elements of a soft heart;

• • An attitude of genuine curiosity, openness & welcoming: We assume the best of each other.
  • We seek first to understand, rather than be understood.
  • Close active listening; we value and have empathy for others, willing to find common ground to start from.
  • Authenticity: By the grace of God, I am only what I am, and can do only what I can do, and know only what I know. And it’s OK. That is what I present to you–nothing more.
  • Vulnerability. We remove our masks. We drop our defenses and constructs. We are who we are, confident in God’s love as we each are right now. I am often wrong. You have as much chance of being right. I know I bring with me my history of assumptions and experiences, and so do you. I do not have all the information-EVER.

What a “Strong Back” looks like:

Now, what about having a “STONG BACK”?

A strong back is not to be confused with those sudden and brief moments courage and bravery are immediately called upon. Sometimes a strong back is simply standing still in the face of challenges, obstacles, and adversity. Sometimes it is standing up for what you believe is right, or for the rights and dignity of others. And sometimes it allows us to move beyond our fears and  keep plodding forward in the face of obstacles.

A Strong Back develops as we come to know ourselves, and know what it is we value most. We will not sell out on those few critical core values that make us who we are. I emphasize “few” and “critical” and “core” values. My dismay with leaders today is they confuse their multitude of opinions and beliefs with core values that advance the dignity of others and the common good.

Most often, a strong back demands that I respond daily to my own human inertia and weakness. It is a relentless faithfulness to the life given me.

• I see strong backs in young mothers who forget their own needs as they constantly see to the never- ending needs of her young children.
• I see strong backs in the elderly couple who have remained loving and attentive to each throughout their years.
• I see strong backs in those who seek and accept help for addictions and mental illness, and those who love and care for them, and then use their experience to lift others up.
• I see strong backs in business leaders who put people before profits, and re-invest their gains into those who made the gains possible.
• I see strong backs in statesmen and woman who are willing to lose votes and support in order to advance the common good..

The power of strong backs cannot be easily discounted. No lasting venture has ever succeeded without it. When the servant leader’s core values are challenged, with gracious but firm resolve, he or she stands up, speaks up, and models those values. Servant leaders are always aware that others are watching.

To put these the two elements of servant-leadership together I have constructed this pictograph .It helps me remember how to practice servant leadership in any situation.

It is time to reverse the decline of authentic servant leadership in our world. It starts with recognizing it when we see it, voting for it, encouraging it in others, and growing in it ourselves.

It is time to lead every encounter throughout our day with a soft heart, open, inviting, curious. Yet, when we recognize it is necessary, to stand up, stay put, or keep pushing ahead.

I am interested in your thoughts. Do you have  servant leaders in mind? Tell me about them.

Kind Regards,

Bob